


Im sorry, i love you

by Sapphicdaydreams



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Autistic Will Graham, Hannibal is trying to get better at comforting and being kind, M/M, Post Fall, angst with a tiny bit of comfort, discussions of all the stuff hannibal has done to will throughout the show, it gets resolved, kind of a fix it if u squint, spoilers for the whole show, they address all their issues after the fall, they had to eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28821393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphicdaydreams/pseuds/Sapphicdaydreams
Summary: It starts with a nice day, but one small trigger makes everything devolve. Who knew that silence could be so scary. Will and Hannibal talk about what they have both been through so they can attempt to have a stable relationship.
Relationships: Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter
Comments: 1
Kudos: 44
Collections: Hannibal Flash Fic #002





	Im sorry, i love you

**Author's Note:**

> didnt beta, tried my best, rip

Will had gotten up at 9am to get to the docks before anyone else had, careful to remain unseen and avoiding crowds. By the time more fishermen began to show up at noon he had caught 2 fish, and that was good enough for dinner. He packed up, content with his daily catch, and loaded his cooler and gear back into the car. 

Will still had ample time before he had to be back for dinner and it was a Tuesday, so he treated himself to a day on the mostly empty town. Will got lunch at the market, paid in cash of course, and browsed the vendors for anything new or unique. He rarely found anything that caught his fancy, most of it local crafts that Will had no room for in his and Hannibal's carefully curated home. But today toward the end of his stroll he found a new booth. The vendor was a younger woman, she was clearly new to the business as shown by her lack of signage and price markers.

“Oh my goodness hello! First customer of the day”, she smiled at Will. He smiled back awkwardly, he was horrible at small talk.

Will looked over what she had, it was customized wooden cooking supplies. There was a basket of knives with intricately soldered designs in the wooden handles and hanging from the sides of her booth were various spatulas embellished with resin and stone. But what really caught his eye was a pair of cutting boards, designed with resin to make it look as if ocean waves were spilling onto the polished wood.

“Are these functional? Or just decoration?”, Will inquired, trying to avoid eye contact with the girl and instead focusing on the golden broach she wore on her dress.

“All my work is completely functional! Of course over time there is wear and tear, but nothing more than what you would find with store bought supplies”, what he could see of her face beamed back at him, clearly proud of her business. 

Will let out a small breath before meeting her eyes, “ I'd love to take those two cutting boards please, the ocean ones”, he gestured awkwardly at the items.

“Oh perfect!”, she went to pick them up and put them in a cardboard bag which had a little stamp of her business on the front, she then paused. “I only take cash by the way, is that okay?”, she looked up worried.

“That's perfect”

-

“I got these for you”, Will said, unpacking the cutting boards from the small bag after he set his fish ice box by the fridge. He placed them on the counter next to where Hannibal was drying his hands. Hannibal looked at the kitchenware from where he was standing and looked back up at Will, an unreadable expression plastered on Hannibals face.

The momentary silence was deafening, Will could feel Hannibal's eyes burning into him and his face flushed. Had Will overstepped? He knew Hannibal's kitchen was his own domain, maybe Hannibal didn't want anything in there that was not selected by his own hand. Will was about to say something when Hannibal set the wet dish towel to the side and walked over to get a better look at the boards. Wills skin prickled at the close proximity of Hannibal, a reflex that he had yet to get rid of. Hannibal thoughtfully ran a finger over the cool resin that bled into the polished wood, he turned his head to look up at Will.

“I love them”, Hannibal smiled, a genuine and rare smile that only Will ever got to see. “You spoil me Will”, Hannibal leaned in to kiss Will's cheek. The gentleness of the gesture made Will sigh involuntarily, his form relaxing from its previously heightened state.

“I'm glad”, Will put his hand on Hannibal's arm and rubbed a small circle, “you had me worried for a second there”

“What would there be to be worried about? You brought me a gift, a loving gesture, do you make of me as someone ungrateful?” 

Will pulled his hand back, “No, no its just, you paused and, I got scared i had done something wrong. Sometimes you are so particular about things I get scared of being seen as rude and ending up on your table again”, Will laughed awkwardly, stepping away from Hannibal to busy himself with the dishes, not wanting to address the implications of what he had just said.

Hannibal walked over and behind Will, his strong arms taking hold of the counter on either side of the smaller man's form. Hannibal leaned in and kissed Wills shoulder, then resting his chin on it, “I would never do anything to hurt you my love”.

Wills body went rigid and he scoffed, turning around in Hannibal's confinement to look him in the eyes, “That is the dumbest fucking thing you have ever said to me. Look at me hannibal! Look at all of this”, he gestured wildly at the scars on his face, his voice raising in volume, “All you have ever done is hurt me! I love you, and I well and truly believe you are my soulmate, but don't for a second think I havent been wounded by what you've done”. Tears pricked in his eyes, a truth he had held in unspoken since the fall. “ So don't be surprised when I'm scared of you”, Will looked down sniffling and brought his fists to Hannibal's chest, slamming down on him weakly, “because from the moment I met you, all you've done is given me reasons to.”

Hannibal looked down at the man, waiting for Will to meet his eyes. Will eventually looked up, face red and puffy with tears, his gaze refusing to go any higher than Hannibal's lips. 

“I'm sorry”, Hannibal's voice was strained, his mask cracking at the seams. “ I know that there is nothing in this world i can do to change what i have done. I was selfish with you Will, and I know that. When I met you, and found that you could truly see me I,” he sighed, “I wanted to keep you all for myself, by any means necessary”

Will sniffed, “You make it sound like you were just an overprotective lover Hannibal. You killed Abigail, you killed her twice because once wasn’t enough for you! You sent a serial killer after my family Hannibal! You say all these things are necessary for me, all ways to make me emerge from the christylis, but did you ever take time to think that maybe I didn't want to emerge?! That maybe I wanted to live my life how it was, that maybe I was okay playing dollhouse by day and leaving my thoughts of you tucked away until the nighttime?”, Will pushed against Hannibal's arms, trying to get out of yet another cage he had trapped him in. Hannibal relinquished, letting Will slide past out of his reach.

Will walked from the kitchen into the open foyer of their home, wanting to create distance enough so he wouldn't crumble under Hannibal's presence, “I like this life we have built with each other, and in a sick way I DO like who I've become, but what I don't like is playing pretend with you just like I did with everyone else back in Baltimore”

Will stared down Hannibal, who had stayed in place where he left him. Hannibal was silent again as he looked back into Wills eyes, making the man even angrier. He didn't know what he wanted Hannibal to say, he wasn't sure there was anything he could say to fix this, but Will knew that out of all the answers, silence was not what he wanted. 

“What?! Why so quiet lately huh?! You don't have anything to say for once in your life?!”, Will spat out in boiling anger. 

Hannibal remained stoic in his place, the usual composure completely fallen away. Will knew what that look meant, he had actually gotten to Hannibal and hurt him. Wills mouth twitched into a brief sick smile and took advantage of that rare vulnerability that pained Hannibals face. 

“You once told me you gave me a gift when you let me see you”, Will said slowly, words meant to sting, “and every day since then I wished to god you never had”, Will turned on his heel and walked out the front door, slamming it so hard the glass threatened to break. 

Hannibal was left in the dimly lit kitchen, still staring in the direction of where Will was just moments ago. It was rare, the times Hannibal felt genuine pain or remorse, he had built his skin thick and impenetrable, but Wills words had tears springing unwillingly in his eyes. Hannibal could not lie that he took pleasure in Will's torment, his pain was something too beautiful to keep tucked away for too long. But when Hannibal pushed Will too far, his words turned into something sharp that could rip open Hannibal's human suit like a sow's soft stomach on the butcher's table. A single tear fell down Hannibal's cheek, he walked out of the kitchen and into their study. 

-

He knew he didn't deserve to be angry, at least in his rational mind. Conventionally, Hannibal knew he was in the wrong, even if in his heart he never saw it that way. All he ever wanted for Will was to have him reach his full potential, and maybe in that process Hannibal had forgotten himself. One too many bricks taken away made the foundation crumble, and that was his fault. Hannibal scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to find the words he would say to Will. For the first time in his life, he didn't want to manipulate Will. He knew what he could say, knew the mind games he could play to bring his lover back to him, but if psychiatry had taught him anything it was that relationships built on lies never lasted. So he had to be honest with Will. Possibly for the first time ever. 

-

Will had stormed out of the house determined to leave and never come back, but the second he stepped off the porch he felt frozen. He hated this sick game they both played, more than anything he hated how much he actually loved it. Will sat down on the cold pavement of the doorsteps and put his head in his hands, warm tears streaming down his cheeks and dotting the ground below. 

“Why are you even here”, Will sniffled, “you could have gone back, you could have had Molly and Walter, had your whole pack. Yea maybe it would have been different, but it would still be safe, stable,,” Will choked, “would still be fucking SANE”. His shoulders shook as he coughed and wheezed into the cold air between sobs. 

“You’re a fucking idiot, a loser”, his nose began to run, “you’re,,”, Will sniffed again, “  _ I,  _ am a bad person”. He looked out at the sunset painting the skyline, covered in part by the tall trees that surrounded their home. Will had insisted on a country home when the pair had looked for houses, and Hannibal had smiled at him and happily obliged. 

A beetle passed by Wills shoe and he instinctively crushed it, just making himself cry more. “Maybe we deserve each other more than i thought”, Will barked out a wet laugh to himself, “ two fucked up people perfect for eachother”

-

When the air got too cold for Will, who had stormed outside in nothing but a shirt and jeans, he knew he had to go inside. Will grunted as he got to his feet and hovered his hand over the door knob. Will pushed the door open and walked inside.

Hannibal wasn't in the foyer when he walked in, but Will could smell food coming from the kitchen. He didnt want to see Hannibals face right now, he didnt know if he could handle it, but fuck if he wasnt hungry. He strode forward into the kitchen hoping his hunched posture would make Hannibal know better than to try and speak to him. But when he got into the room, Hannibal wasn't in there either. Fresh dishes were piled up in the sink including the cutting boards he had given Hannibal hours earlier. Some lemon seeds and chives still remained on one of the boards, having missed Hannibal's knife when he scraped the ingredients into the sauce. It smelled divine. His fish cooler was open on the ground near their metal table, it had been emptied and cleaned in a much more thorough way than Wills usual hosing off of the interior. 

“Will”, Hannibal spoke in a loud and level voice from the Dining room.

Will walked up to the connecting archway between the kitchen and Dining room to look at Hannibal who was sitting at the table. A beautifully garnished plate in front of him and another mirroring himself on the opposite side of the long table. Will walked in and sat down quietly on instinct, thankful for the distance Hannibal had put between them.

“I don't want to talk about it Hannibal”, Will looked down at his plate and refused to look up at Hannibal, “can we please just forget about it?”

“No”, the man across from him said plainly.

“No? What do you mean no?”, Wills voice took on an aggressive tone again, his anger clearly having not left his system entirely yet. 

“I do not want to forget about it Will, this is something we have been needing to discuss for some time now”, Hannibal placed his fork to the side. 

Will began to protest before Hannibal's next sentence silenced him.

“You do not have to say anything back, just please listen”, Will grumbled and looked up enough to meet Hannibal's nose. 

Hannibal sighed, “I'm sorry Will, and I mean that. I would be lying if I said I was sorry for what you have become, but I am sorry about the way you got here. I mean it when I say I would never hurt you, I have hurt you in the past so deeply but now I could not bear to hurt you even for a moment. Now that we are together, truly together, all I want is to protect you and this life that we have built together. I cherish it and don't plan on letting it go.”

Will began to cry again, angry that Hannibal's words were touching him like this. 

“And I know there is nothing I can say to take back what I did. I cannot bring Abigail back from the dead. I cannot give you back Beverly Katz, or the friendship you lost with Alana.”, Hannibal's voice had gone soft in his shame.

“I know I can never well and truly refill those spaces in your life Will, but please let me try.”, Hannibal punctuated his speech with a few tears that trickled down his cheek and past his nose where Will could see them. Will couldn't help but want to kiss them away. He looked up all the way and into Hannibal's glassy eyes that shone back at him. WIll Graham had spent years inside this man's head, Will Graham knew every trick in Hannibal's book, but this, this was not one he had seen before. Hannibal was being genuine with him.

“Hannibal”, Will stood from his chair slowly, breathing steady and never breaking eye contact with the man across the table. He walked toward him slowly, standing beside the man's chair, looking down at him with a soft expression. Hannibal looked back at him, his eyes searching and scared in a way Will had never seen before.

“Will”

They looked at each other like two mirrors shining back at one another, creating infinite realities, all in which they were together. This was how it was meant to be, for better or for worse. This world was no longer just Will or Hannibals, it was theirs together. Two children of the sun split at birth only to find one another and become an inferno. There could be nothing but them, there would be nothing but them.

Will grabbed the sides of Hannibals face and pulled him up into a rough kiss, teeth and tongue all at once. Hannibal stood up and held onto wills hips, kissing him back and leaving burning handprints wherever he touched.

Hannibal pulled away and breathed into Will's mouth, “I'm sorry, I love you”.

Will huffed into their shared air.

“im sorry, I love you”, he echoed back. 


End file.
